Two posts in two days!? You must be dreaming! No you’re not, so before you try using the force to levitate that phone a little closer or try flying off Tempe Towers. Don’t. But really, I’m the one who’s been dreaming, a very strange dream. So strange and worth blogging that I even wrote a script for it. Just a heads up this can be seen as an attempt to write for Entourage. Which maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But I figured it’d be the best way to illustrate the dream’s daft events.
INT. TMA CONFERENCE ROOM
All agents are sitting in conference room waiting for ARI
GOLD’s next new big signing.
People! Please welcome, future
Canadian football legend, TERRELLE
All agents clap giving PRYOR a warm welcome. WOLFGANG
doesn’t. Gives TERRELLE PRYOR a cold stare. Ari glances and
Thanks. Thank you.
Alright, people. What have we got
for Mr. Pryor
Jersey Shore is looking for guest
stars in their third season.
Japanese-American football camp is
looking for a minor celebrity as an
Minor!? I believe the word you were
looking for is Major!
Coulda been major.
(looks in WOLFGANG’s
Entourage is looking for guest
stars in it’s ninth season.
ARI GOLD and TERRELLE PRYOR look at eachother. Then at AGENT
Series is over. Next.
New NFL team in Idaho is looking
for free agents. Oh wait, I forgot. They want
players who finished college.
Got somethin to say?
No, come on. Don’t worry about him,
he didn’t get enough attention as a
Atleast I didn’t sell my diploma
for a Nissan!
OK! Get out! Now!(to TERRELLE) I’m
so sorry about this man-
What Ari!? Like this kid couldn’t
get enough money as a student?!
GET OUT NOW OR I WILL PERSONALLY
TAKE YOU OUT!
Oh I’d be pleased to do it myself.
Only person you should be taking
out is your date here! He’s got the
car! 350z right? One from Tokyo
Drift? He’s got the money! See what
you can get at Steak n Shake for a
pair of Golden Pants!
(grabs Wolfgang by the jacket,
starts walking him out of the
Really!? In front of a client?!
He had his chance! He should be
blacklisted like the Mel Gibson of
EXT. TMA CONFERENCE ROOM
ARI GOLD drags and pushes WOLFGANG into the elevator.
YOU WEREN’T SHIT AFTER FRESHMAN
Elevator door closes.
I’m so sorry about that.
What kinda place you runnin here
Elevator lands at level one. Doors open, and standing
waiting is JIM TRESSEL.
Heyyy! Mr. Tressel!
How is it going son? Which floor
can I find Ari?
Oh I’ll help you, I left my keys
EXT. TMA CONFERENCE ROOM
TERRELLE PRYOR is waiting in front of the elevator.
Come on Terrelle we got plenty of
other ideas waitin for you! How
would you like to be in the next DC
Comics movie! Huh!? One phone call and
this time the Green Lantern will
actually be black!
Elevator arrives. Doors open.
Oh this making you uncomfortable
Terrelle? You know if it weren’t
for YOU THIS MAN WOULDN’T BE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB!
You Buckeye piece of shit! (punches
Sorry Jim I-
(punches Ari in face)
Weird dream. Now you know how it is remembering dreams, so basically the plot line was the same just the dialogue needed some refreshing. Critics (one friend) say that they couldn’t imagine Ari Gold punching someone, which yes I agree, would be weird and out of character. But if you remember Ari’s prank war with Adam Davies in season 4 or 5, you will recall a ‘bitch slap’ given by Mr. Gold. And with the stress Ari had gone through in season 7 I imagine there would possibly be enough for him to crack. And if you don’t watch Entourage then you’re probably really confused, so catch it on HBO Sunday night July 24th to watch the premiere of it’s 8th and final season.
As for the Ohio State side, I love Jim Tressel. It’s that Terrelle who pisses me off. So I think my subconscious hate for the fact that Pryor ended the career of one of Ohio State’s greatest coaches, is what seeped into my sleep.
…..but still, it was just a dream. Hope you enjoyed it.
Oh and Doug Ellin, if you’re currently reading this, have you know I am currently unemployed (besides this internship).